i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
