i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
