I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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