i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
