i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
