im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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