JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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