They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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