He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
