Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
smell my finger.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
