ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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