I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
