Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
