it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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