direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
