then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
