my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
