I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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