I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
