So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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