Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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