Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
