I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
