how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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