Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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