there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
