Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
