a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
