are you so shy because you have an std?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
