Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
