well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
