as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
