Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
