big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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