i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
