Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
