she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize