i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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