too bad you live with your parents still
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
