my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
