Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
