I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
