Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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