In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
