sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
