I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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