Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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