I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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