my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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