I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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