Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
