her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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