I just pynch a tree in the face
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
