Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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