hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
