dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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