Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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