Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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