I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
