Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
