Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
