My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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