It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
