that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
