maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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