I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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